GuestWriter

Dear B!tch A$$ Medical Staff – Hoffa didn’t appreciate the prostate exam.

Dear B!tch A$$ Medical Staff, *Note. This was a traumatizing experience. Keep your lols, LMAOs, and hahahas to a minimum.* I came to see you last Friday to get some antibiotics. I answered the usual pre-procedural questions. Great. Quick fast and easy. You gave me an STD test. Done, great. Negative results. Awesome. Then you [...]

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Weekend Wrap Up

Good Morning OHN!!! ::checks email, sees 38 and logs into twitter:: Busy busy busy weekend on this end, folks. Starting off on Friday and in my gchat…I started talking about how Melanie Fiona’s new song “4am” will have you mad for no gatdamn reason. You could be pooping out glitter, rainbows and fairy dust. Let [...]

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The 2012 Election and Why Sane People Should Be Afraid

Hey Y’all this post is from our very own Zuly! Unless you’ve been living in a cave (aka without access to the internet in any form), you’ve been bombarded with cartoons, articles, posts, rants, comments, etc. about the 2012 Presidential Election. More specifically, since Obama is clearly going to run for a second term, people [...]

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I think the GOP makes Cher want to vomit.

And here I thought I would be way too passionate and evil about doing this post… sheeeeesh LOL. Gone ‘head, Cher. Tell em why you’re mad, doll! Sooooo, how are you all enjoying these fine Republican Primaries we’ve been having? It seems like just yesterday we had 12 white people and a token and now [...]

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Depression…. and why is the black community slower to come to grips with it?

It’s Hard to Be: Black, Female, Male, Homosexual, A Parent, A Single Parent, Chronically Ill, young, old, broke, bisexual, homeless, misunderstood, unemployed . . . It’s hard to be alive. It’s also hard to be Black with Mental Health Issues. My parents should have been genetically tested and never been allowed to procreate because they produced [...]

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Weekend Wrap-up

::drops some cookies in the office for everyone:: Good Mo’nin…wait, it’s the afternoon? See, this is what happens when you don’t let the punctual folks do shyt until they bring it up. Weekend Wrap-up will now be brought to you by yours truly, OHN’s very own live action ghostly fairy…Twink. So, let’s see…Friday, I got [...]

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Dear b*tch-azz Black Social Stereotypes.

Dear Bitch ass Black Social Stereotypes (from Black people), What is a real n***a? A bad bitch? Why is ok to say “it ain’t tricking if you got it”? What in the sam hell is YOLO? Why is it lame for me to read books and like Wolf Blitzer over reading Bossip.com and watching reality [...]

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Paula Deen please have a seat!

Hey y’all it’s Beth! I stole this post from one of my favorite people on OHN Choc with her beautiful self! Check it out: Hey y’all!! Paula Deen announced this week she was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes three years ago. Her revelation was met with a firestorm of criticism from many of her fans, [...]

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How Piracy has affected an author and why some will silently hope SOPA becomes a reality

Ok, I had to get my grown up on and try to make this look like I actually do write for a living. This is not about why SOPA/PIPA is right or wrong, but why there is a LARGE non-major named push behind it. For those of you who might not understand why there is [...]

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Apocalypse Now, Mind Over Matter – “O Hell Nawl I’m Bout to Die in this B*tch Game”

Now that we’re all comfortably ensconced in 2012 please allow me to remind you that …. We’re all gonna die! Don’t blame me, blame the Mayans and their surprisingly accurate system of calendars. On December 21, 2012 the Current Mayan Calendar ends, to the Mayans that just means the end to a “Cycle”, like America’s Next [...]

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Dear B!tch A$$ 2012……..

Dear B!tch A$$ 2012, First week went awesome! The GOP looked crazy this week, good job! 200,000 jobs have been created since last year; another deserved awesome (happy dance)! And what, hoes haven’t learned how to win yet? Stupendous! Let’s keep the positivity going!Last year was rough for us 2012. We lost some great artists, [...]

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The Theoretical Okey-Doke – The siren song of the Attention Whore

‘I have been on the internet for 18 years, I remember sending my first e-mail to Jane Pauley saying that Dateline NBC had too much Stone Phillips (it was the only e-mail address I knew). I laughed at those kids with communal computers in the kitchen because I had my own phone line and my [...]

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What are your (sensible) resolutions for 2012…

I’m sitting here trying to write out my New Year’s Resolutions and I’m conflicted. On the one hand they need to be epic for I am 30 and in this my 30th year so I need to make big moves and do big amazing things. On the other hand on 12/212012 we’re all gonna die [...]

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Chernanigans – Gremlin Stank.

So I’ve been trying to write this post for weeks, first I was writing about babies, then keeping it real, then gold digging, then turning 30, then having a baby as a gold digger at 30 while keeping it real. None of it flowed forth from my mind, it was too pedestrian, too serious and [...]

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Dear B*tch-azz: Coworkers…

Dear Bitch Ass Coworker, I do not care about your kids. I do not care about your wife’s third surgery. I especially don’t care about your live in parents, your ex-wife’s granddaughter, or any of your get rich schemes. I am not your f#cking psychiatrist, I’m your coworker. Do you think I enjoy you popping [...]

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Random Rants from Whitey

Dear White guy…. ….. ….. Apparently not one of you have any more questions that you need me to answer or you have grown tired of my responses. Either way, my inbox is empty. So for the sake of not letting this opportunity slip by, I am taking this space to share some of me [...]

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Ask the white guy…

I don’t think you limited the questions to one per e-mail – hopefully you can cover this under one post. The workplace questions are of the utmost importance to me. 1. Why do white people assume that their black friends will protect them if they act crazy or start some s**t in public? 2. Why [...]

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Cher is a racist.

Just for clarification Dating Chernanigans is going on hiatus,but that doesn’t mean I stop dating. It means I stop trying to find a man cuz it’s cold and it’s hard to look cute when you fall down on ice. But dontchaknow when you stop trying all the little termite men come out of the woodwork. [...]

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Chernanigans -Apparently if you don’t have a baby and a man by 30 years old your uterus falls out at exactly 12:01am

I’m sad y’all it’s time for the CherBear to drag the Dating Chernanigans back into her dark cave for winter hibernation. I’m not just CherBear because it rhymes, I’m actually a bear-like creature. I’m highly territorial, fairly solitary and I hibernate in the winter. It’s just me, chocolate, tea and books once there’s snow on [...]