LNBS: Satanic Forces are out to take Jessie Jackson Jr’s Congressional seat.

Jesse Jackson Jr. faces no small challenges in his re-election run in the Congressional 2nd District.

According to a Jackson surrogate, speaking at a news conference Monday, Satan is behind the opposition.

Between 40 and 60 ministers on Monday joined Jackson to endorse his re-election campaign. They’re prepared for a fight, and Pastor Willie James Campbell even denounced the “satanic forces” that want to defeat their man.

Satanic forces could be aligned against the congressman in some ethereal space, but here on earth Jackson Jr. has real problems.

On one hand, opponent Debbie Halvorson has given Jackson some of the toughest competition he’s seen so far.

On the other, an anti-incumbent, Texas-based Super Pac apparently also wants to take out the congressman.
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Folk was unable to contact satan to confirm if satan’s forces are indeed involved in the alleged attack against JJJ, but Death was on hand for a comment.

Death: You humans have too much time on your hands.

Folk: There you go, sarcastic azz comment from the angel of every end! So what are we to do? Where are we to go? What should be done to defend ourselves from this outrageous attempt of satan’s forces to overtake senate seats and ultimately control the 2nd District? And Folk is sure it was one of satan’s close acquaintances that forcefully put JJJ’s dayck all up in Giovana Huidobro during those “social” visits way back when too!

Look people, Folk ain’t here to argue if there is indeed an angel known as satan or not. But d@mnit people, stop blaming supernatural forces for shyt that don’t go your way or make shyt difficult for yo’ azz. Fact aside that career politicians are by definition corrupt, don’t start blaming some “invisible satanic force” for shyt you can’t control or don’t want to deal with!

Anybody, got word from satan on this shyt?