SSC: Folk’s Top 10 fvck fvcking Superbowl Sunday!

It’s Superbowl Sunday, so a lot of you fvckers aren’t even around to read this shyt!  At yo’ lil Superbowl party and shyt!   So fvck it.

Folk got issues with Superbowl Sunday and the Superbowl in general.  Folk bets some of y’all fvckers have an issue with this fvcking fvcked up p!ss poor of an example of sportsmanship of “World” domination in a sport that is mostly only played in fvcking America!  How can you be “World” Champions when you don’t play anyone outside the nation?  Fvck it!

• 10)  6 hours of pre game show?!?!  Seriously?  Talk about milking the fvcking cow dry!  Commentators commentating on  the “type” of grass, to the lighting system being used, to the wireless microphone shoved up some poor players azz just to get that “in-game” 3D sound experience brought to you by whoeverdafvckcares.

• 9)  Commercials.  Yup the fvcking commercials.  Have you watched a Superbowl show from beginning to end.  Motherfvckers can barely get a sentence out during pre or post game before we break for a word from our sponsors.  Hell during the game, the refs are given bonuses for calling fouls that result in additional commercial time (Folk has no proof of this but Folk is a conspiracy theorist.

•  And since we’re talking about the motherfvcking commercials, if the main reason MOST people watch the Super Bowl for the commercials is it still a sporting event?  Or has it become a  capitalistic sheep herding event where the masses are mindlessly driven to “want” to buy “something”  or “watch” some upcoming Summer blockbuster that you just HAVE to see!  Roll in the sensationalism of future profits!

• 7)  Oh were we talking about commercials?  Yeah, those commercial breaks break the flow of the game.  Great drives are put on hold for the great 10 minute commercial break!   Folk knows, a lot of time spent on commercials and what…. It’s the fvcking Superbowl!  You thought you were going to watch a game?

• 6)  Home field advantage!   Wait…  There is no home field advantage.  It’s the fvcking Superbowl!  So the game is paraded around the country at random venues that will reap the biggest fan base pay check for the players corporate football overlords!  Fvckers!

• 5)  The Superbowl makes Folk feel inadequate and “unAmerican”.  Yup!  Why?  Because the whole exhibition is geared towards what a typical 25-30 year old Caucasian Male wants to see and hear.  Plus, since so many casual people are watching, the commentating of the game is dumb down to the point of explaining what a fvcking “tackle” is!  ::in best Madden voice::  When a player hits a guy so hard that he falls on the ground that’s what we call a tackle!

• 4)  The Half Time show!  Yup, the half time sucks every since Janet popped out a nipple and the mostly non-blue collar workers were exposed to brown breast and a dark nipple with a nipple clamp!  Oh the humanity!  Children shouldn’t have to “see” a breast!  This is America!  Every Superbowl halftime show since….  Snoozer!  Well maybe not the Prince one.  That one was decent.  And it fvcking began raining when he sang Purple Rain!  Awesome…

• 3)  Pizza delivery sucks on Superbowl Sunday!  Er’body trying to host their little “Superbowl” party so you get invited to 1200 of these fvcking things and er’body gets mad cause you didn’t come to their “lil” get-together, so you decide to stay the fvck home and just chill!  So you decide to take the fvcking day off and order a Pizza to enjoy “your” time with the tele.  But noooooo!!!!  Every casual football fan comes out the wood works on this day and now that 30 minute delivery is TWO FVCKING HOURS!  Even pick up is 1.5  hours!  Oh the inhumanity!

• 2)  Fair-weather Fans!  They should have their tonsils ripped from their throats via their rectum.  Don’ t just “like” a team because they’re winning!  This the type shyt that reveals a lot about a person’s morals and long term psychological state for potential relationship disaster.  Ladies, if yo’ man a fair-weather fan, then be careful.  Just saying.

• 1)  The Superbowl has become a status symbol for the elite and the 1%.  Attendance will be filled with celebrities to watch “America’s” blue collar game where there will hardly be a blue collar worker in attendance.  Blue collar workers who are die hard fans will shell out life savings just for the chance to be at the big game.  Folk remembers researching the costs of going to a Superbowl game in consideration of putting attending a Superbowl game on the bucket list.  Folk stopped researching that real quick!  Tickets out the gate $2,000.00 if you can get ‘em.  The average middle class American has a better chance of being hit by a naked crackhead driving a Ferrari than getting tickets on the first try to the Superbowl.  Hell during round two lotteries and radio show give aways, Folk would have a better chance of having an overweight Ethiopian midget stroke Folk’s prostate while watching a 50 year old executive wank off with a zebra dayck in his mouth on the front lawn with a pocket dog on the zebra’s back in a hoodie than getting a ticket!  Guess, Folk could sale the house?