Sci-Fi brothel planned near Las vegas. Smang a green chick!

Have you ever dreamed of traveling to distant planets, meeting exotic alien women and having sex with them?

If so, you — and possibly Captain Kirk — are the target audience for brothel owner Dennis Hof’s newest Southern Nevada business venture.

The reality television star and outspoken sex merchant recently bought a rundown bordello 90 miles northwest of Las Vegas and unveiled plans to renovate and reopen it with a science fiction theme.

He is calling it Alien Cathouse and promising “girls from another world.”

Hof has turned to an old friend to plan the costumes and decor: Hollywood Madam turned Pahrump resident Heidi Fleiss.

“She’s the chief alien design queen,” he said.

Hof purchased the brothel and adjacent gas station, bar and convenience store on U.S. Highway 95 from notorious longtime Nye County brothel owner Maynard “Joe” Richards.

The store is being rebranded as the Area 51 Alien Travel Center and will feature its own line of merchandise emblazoned with little green men and women.

It’s all an attempt to cash in on the property’s location just south of the federal installation formerly known as the Nevada Test Site — though nowhere near the actual Area 51.

Hof, whose Moonlite Bunny Ranch east of Carson City is the setting for a long-running HBO reality show, expanded his adult empire into Southern Nevada last year when he bought Richards’ two brothel properties in the tiny town of Crystal, north of Pahrump.

With his latest acquisition, Hof now holds five brothel licenses, the most ever by a single owner. He hopes to add one or two more in the near future.

“Unless they’re married, I don’t want anyone in Nevada having sex unless I get a cut of the money,” he said with a laugh.

Only one of Hof’s two brothels in Crystal is open for business. The other is still awaiting a face-lift, but that work is on hold until Hof and Fleiss can find a cable network — possibly Cinemax — willing to turn the renovation into a reality show.

The Alien Cathouse is expected to open for business in a month or two, after Hof and Fleiss oversee the complete transformation of the old bordello, which he described as a “disgusting, terrible place” without a single window.

All the rooms at the new place will be spacious suites, Hof said.

Nye County officials have issued him a temporary brothel license while he undergoes a routine background check.

“They just did this 14 months ago,” Hof said. “The only change is I made $2 million. I can’t see the problem there.”

Nye County Sheriff Tony DeMeo isn’t expecting any complications either.

He said this is the first time the county has issued a temporary license, but it made sense in this case because of Hof’s recent background check and his clean operating record.

“He is in a very unique position,” DeMeo said of Hof.

Nevada is the only state that allows houses of prostitution. About two dozen licensed brothels operate in seven rural counties. Three other counties allow them but don’t have any right now.

Prostitution is illegal in the state’s population centers of Clark and Washoe counties.

Hof’s alien theme is already well past the probing stage, but important details — whether the working women will be painted green, for example — are still being decided.

When Hof talks about the idea, it comes out sounding like a series of bumper-sticker slogans: “Sex from another planet” and “Alien Cathouse girls do it different,” to name a few.

He did confirm one thing: There will be alien costumes made for employees at the travel center and the women in the brothel.

It’s unclear whether the costumes will be for everyday use or for promotional events and special occasions.

Hof’s plans are already getting rave reviews from at least one industry expert.

George Flint is a Reno wedding chapel owner who lobbies on behalf of Nevada’s licensed brothels. He thinks a brothel with a space alien theme is a great idea, and he thinks Hof might be just the guy to pull it off at a time when most Nevada brothels are barely scraping by.

Flint used to dislike the self-anointed “pimp-master general” and his headline-grabbing antics, but he has developed a new respect for Hof.

“There are times he still scares my diaper off,” Flint said, “but he has a stamina that’s hard for me to believe.” [source]

Darth Talon - This aint the Star Wars YOU grew up with.

This sounds like the most pathetic yet awesome foolishness I have ever heard of. First of all I think whore houses in general are some ol boooooolshyt azz boooooolshyt. Even though EVERY man pays for sex in some way shape or form, whether directly or indirectly, Directly paying for it just sounds like some ol ……ugh.

Buuuut if this means I can finally have sex with Darth Talon for REAL instead of just dreaming about it every other day then shiiiiiiiiit bring it on!!!

Juuuudge me. She could get it. She was the best part of that damn Star Wars series.

What were we talking about again??

Oh yeah.

Awesome sexual nerd fantasies coming to life.

Though in general, I’m not impressed with the concept.

Nooooooow if they added random characters from Animated series?? Oh.. It would be ON!!

Oh don’t judge me, whores. Like you never thought of having a threesome with Wilma and Betty. No? You haven’t for real??

Bet you will now…

Gigady gigady.

I aint right.

Maaaaan betty could get it any day with a gatdamn Y in it.

yeah… this whole idea is sounding muuuuuuuch better right now.

SO what. I’m not even trying to be right.

Maybe open my own brothel and call it: #Nerdgasm. Featuring all the fantasy and sci-fi characters who are at the top of nerdy folk’s smang list….

I know Storm would be at the top of myyy damn list. Bunk you… like i’m the only person who has put some actual thought into this. I bet you could name 3 characters right now without much thought at all.. hmph.

….hopefully you could. Otherwise i’m gonna feel like a degenerate.

…right after i finish thinking about smanging Storm some more.