Pastor goes to pray with woman…annnd somehow ends up with his tongue all in her lady places.

Slick Lick Willy, what they call him.

“Pastor Addy came to my house, asked me to pray with him and that he has had some bad revelations about me. While we were praying, he undressed me and started licking my vagina ….”

These were the words of a 32-year-old woman who alleged that she was sexually assaulted by a pastor at Omanjor near Sowutuom, a suburb of Accra.

The pastor, Stephen Addy-Powell of Crown Miracle International Ministries, Omanjor, was therefore arrested by the Sowutuom Police to assist in their investigations.

According to the victim, the incident happened on the afternoon of April 15, 2011.

“I was in the house that afternoon when I heard somebody banging on our main gate, so I rushed to see who that person was.”

She said when she went to open the gate she saw Pastor Stephen Addy Powell holding a Bible together with two others.

“Pastor introduced himself as a man of God, and also founder and leader of Crown Miracle International Ministries Omanjor and that he had a message for me. So I ushered him into my sitting room.

“He then asked his friends to excuse us by going out while he told me the confidential message.

“He said God had revealed to him that I had been engaged spiritually by some evil spirits. He said if we did not pray to break that evil bond I could neither marry nor have a child,” the lady told the police.

She stated that they started to pray about it, and in the process, Pastor Stephen Addy asked her to promise him that she would do anything she was asked to do which she accepted.

The woman alleged that after some moments of prayer inside her sitting room, the pastor lifted her dress, removed her panties and started to lick her vagina.

“He licked me for quite a long period before concluding the prayers,” she said.  ( slurpity lickity slurp slurp :: wipes mouth :: Now let us pray…)

The complainant said after Pastor Addy had left with his colleagues, she became afraid of the actions of the pastor and so reported the incident to her church pastor.

“Some family members also asked me to report the matter to the police but because I had no evidence, I intentionally called Pastor Stephen on the phone to question him about the consequences of his licking my vagina. ( i swear.. if she says “licked or licking my vagina” one more time…. i’m gonna lose it )

“I also asked why he licked my vagina ( lmaaaaaaaaaaoooooooooooooooooo)  and then he confessed that he loved me and wanted me to be his wife.”

After the conversation, the victim averred that a formal report was lodged to the Sowutuom police where Pastor Stephen Addy was arrested. ( What did the report say!??? I let the pastor lick my vagina for quite some time before i decided… maybe this aint right….” How long does a muf***a have his tongue in your bacon curtains before you decide..maybe this is some shyt i should tell the cops about. )

Confirming the story, the Crime Officer of the Odorkor District Police Command, Superintendent Barfour Apenteng indicated that 31-year-old pastor Stephen Addy was indeed arrested by the police for questioning.

“Our investigations indicate that the pastor actually committed the act and so a charge of indecent assault had been leveled against him,” the police said. ( well.. ok… if we’re being technical n shyt)

He maintained that when an earlier recording was played to Pastor Addy, he got confused and then confessed to having committed the act, but said he wanted the girl as a friend. ( Hey… i’ve generally found that… asking someone before you put your nose in their noo-noo… helps in the whole..friendship shyt)

The Odorkor crime officer stated that investigations also revealed that the pastor is married with an eight-month-old baby.

“He would be arraigned before court soon,” he added. [source]

Hey… oral sex is awesome azz awesome, people. It’s Grooovy! it’s the most! It’s the bee’s knees!

Buuuuuuuut it’s still best to ask permission before you do that ish ooorrrrrrrrrrr be quite positive that the shyt is going to go your way if you’re just gonna go muff diving.

Women expect to be lied to for the ass. I mean really.. they are. Otherwise, why the fugg would they ever fall for shyt like: ” Im just gonna put the head in.” NO one is that stupid. They know we are lyyyyyying. They HAVE to know. They can’t possibly think that’s all we’re going to do! That’s like them taking one bite from some chocolate dream cheesecake. WHAT woman takes one gatdamn bite of some cheesecake… not nan. Just like if we say we just wanna put the head in….. that means someone is about to get smanged.

Iiii’m just saying.

Just like im saying this so-called Pastor was on some ol boolshhyt.

That was some pathetic azz game, but no more pathetic than someone who would faaaalll for that ish.

Hey.. I dig God as much as the next guy… I really do. But I aint about to believe anyone who says God told them they needed to lick all in my asshole while we read psalm verses n shyt.

Nawl, son.  If I didn’t buy the story of Noah, I definitely aint going for the great biblical ass licking.

Thanks to Dwane and everyone else who sent this in.