The Semen cook book…
This is excatly why I refuse to eat at just anyone’s house..
The Food Chain was first with this, and it’s been like staring at a car wreck for ever since. Looking for a salt substitute? Then here’s a cookbook for the truly indiscriminate omnivore:
“Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties. Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic. Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants. Despite all of these positive qualities, semen remains neglected as a food. This book hopes to change that. Once you overcome any initial hesitation, you will be surprised to learn how wonderful semen is in the kitchen. Semen is an exciting ingredient that can give every dish you make an interesting twist. If you are a passionate cook and are not afraid to experiment with new ingredients - you will love this cook book!”
Man, you cook my food with cock chowder, and I swear I will kill the SHYT out of you.
Ugh i think i just threw up a lil in my mouth…
Oh FUGG NO! GTFO!!!!
Not happening. No dayum way! Whoever wrote this apparently doesn’t know that you can get diseases from swallowing that shyt. Ole nasty azz nasty fugga!
*Blinks…Blinks*
::walks out::
iono bout chall, but you couldn’t PAY me to eat nothing wit penis seasoning
cause for one, this aint fear factor
and two, swallowing that shit BY MISTAKE is NOT the business. especially when it tastes like clorox
*mickey fickeys got a prob eatin food wit semen but catch a tude if I dont wanna swallow…aint that a bytch…*
Who the hell took the damn tape off Karrie?
Clorox? Who’s dick you suckin? Mr. Clean?
that shit was un-okay. i told him to drank some juicey juice…100% fruit juice and shit
Clorox? Who’s dick you suckin? Mr. Clean?
**DEAD**
After re-reading this, I’m in my militant mode now and am convinced this is a book put out by the white man and/or Taliban to further spread the AIDS virus.
funky tastin spunk havin ass niggas
Ri-EFFING-diculous!!!!
I will personally cut off or mutilate the chef’s genitals and shove it down their throats!
DEAD @ Kiki
For real though, I’ve been tellin folk for years sperm has alot of nutritional value. It’s even low in calories to keep that girlish figure.
*strikes a pose to show off slim waistline*
::blinks…blinks::
What?
kiki needs her ass beaten
Karrie…if you mean I need to be punished…you might want to choose a method I WON’T enjoy!
Plus, I KNOW you ain’t talkin *eye rollin*?
My ghost has returned to tell all of you…HELL REALLY IS HOT. Bef was right…
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH, ummm cooking with seamen…..Is that the same as that special “spagetti sauce” that some women be making….
And luckly i feed my honey so his stuff don’t taste like clorox….But i still aint cooking with it…
I am totally in agreement that some crazy azz white person made this shit up…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eidpOdDX8Qg
and then we have this fuckery…
That don’t even sound delicious!
I think I’ll pass on the curdled penis vomit, but please er’body dig in…..
that’s the strangest Jerk Chicken recipe I seen.
I always did think that “Flan” tasted a lil……..SEEDY!
If you wanna see bloodshed, let Jay find out annthang dick-like even grazed his food. I’m murkin everything movin. Errybody in the building gots to go. Ain’t nobody leavin with that info.
FO real JAy.. if you ever hear about a whole group of mufuggas dying myseteriouslY> it had something to do with unexpected dick
i just cant imagine jaila saying some shit like : baby, can u come here right quick…i need some seasonings for dinner…pull out ya big papa tool bar please:
nope not nevah
cock chowder nigga???? Really?
How is that splained to da chillrens?
Momma, whats this special sauce?
did this heffa say cock chowder?!
It’s official…I quit this bytch!!
But before I go…
*pics up mic…*
Is this thing on?
::channels Apolonia 6::
I’m youuur SEX SHOOOOOTER…shootin love in your direction. I’m yoouuur SEX SHOOTER…com’mon plaaaaay with my affectiiiion…
*drops mic…stomps foot 2 times & throws arms out to side*
SEXXUAL CHOCOLATE EVERYBODY!!!
*storms out*
I thought that OHellNawl had already reached the highest level of ignant azz niggatarialism until this here post. I quit!
folk wont eat cum cooked food but’ll serve jibby stirred dranks…
*side eyes slaus*
got folks sippin margaurita’s tom bout “how he get the salt just right on the rim?”
That aint Mortons bytch!
ROFMAO
Damnit Naxia! You beat me to posting that link.
Oh Kiki…let me not front though; I’d be willing to agree with your comment about sperm’s nutritional value.
As for this cookbook…SMDH.
*takes a moment to pray* Dear Jesus,
Please don’t let us find out someone black wrote this…Amen.
Damn shame…
@ Kiki :: side eyes :: Just cuz I liek shooting people dont mean I wanna get shot!!
everybody wan live!! but nobohdee wan dead!!!
hmph.
Just dont ask me to make you a drink thats stirred not shaken.
cuz ima stir it alright
I’mma stab yo ass wit a swordfish!! How you gone replace my good old sea salt with some jizz? OoOO If you weren’t my brother I’d slap you wit a brick, this is naaaaaaaasteeeeee *just urled in my mouf*
,…facts and examples in 3,…2,…1,…
At first, we thought dat “facials” cleared the female skin like newborn infant tinkle, why was why at one time I stopped giving sistas in the church a “holy kiss” on the cheek, but I digress. If a dude’s natural pimp juice has that clorox flava, it’s cause he might be on medication or smokes a lot of bluntz or something. I’m like CSI wit my shyt. It’s been proven that a brotha’s palate can taste punani to the point where they can tell some things about a female,..
1. If she be smoking Black and Milds all dayum day, and eating junk food with a nice slice of Hell on the side.
2. If she just eats juices and berries and soybeans and sunshine.
:brotha getting lockjaw, coming up for air: Aye Boo, did you smoke a joint about an hour before I showed up?
“Dayum sweetie, how did you know?”
“Ancient chinese secret, HONNNNN!!!”
TRUE STORY; One of my sergeants made me mad one time, and this dude in my old Guard unit told me about the time that this one dude who got kicked out, had got into the sergeants lunch, got out his sammich, and busted a natural nutt in it. How in THE hell did he contain his laughter when he saw the sergeant take a bite into the seeds of a disgruntaled privates discontent?
So yeah,…I aint surprised about a white dude (and you just KNOW it’s a white dude, right?), making a cookbook for nasty azz Iron Chef’s trying to cook with the featured ingredient.
Iron Chef Host: Too-deyz seekret engreedyEnt IZZZZZZ,…
:drum roll; host takes sheet off of the ingredients:
Iron Chef Host: MOUNTAIN OYSTERS!!!!!!
,…awwww skeet skeet skeet skeet skeet skeet, awwww skeet skeet, skeet skeet skeet skeet,…
Im lookin at all these broads in here faking like the taste of baby gravy is the worst thing ever…Bottomline..if u swallow man milk…then a lil cum in ya cookies aint gonna fuck up ya day.
APPLEjacque has earned the comment of the week just for making me think of ol boy from Iron Chef introducing jizz as the secret ingredient
Anybody up for some “crab” casserole?! LMAO!
I enjoy a good jibby just like anybody else. However, there should definitely be a separation of the squirt and the steak. So when I get my hands on my hubby, I wanna think “Oooh….a quarter of an hour to pound this please,” and not “Can I get that with my quarter pounder and some cheese?” Nope. Can’t do it. Yeah, yeah, I know. It’s protein. It’s full of fructose goodness with a pinch of love on the side. But I. just. can’t. do it.
A little jibby juice with wine, chicken and baby potatoes? That’s one dish you can’t serve at the family dinner.
KeKe…*holds door* act like you know *rollin*@not “can I get that with my quarter pounder and some cheesse*
Seperation of squirt and steak?? Fuggin genius.
Now get cho ass out
*reads*
I come back gettin’ my back blown out for this?! Let a sista get up in the morning and have to ask why my raspberry yogurt smoothie is salty not sweet. Somebody is going to be missing a soul.
Slaus, you ain’t shyt!!
*throws dollars on the stage after Kiki’s performance*
I foresee many a beatdown because of this book.
*blink*
what the duece
*blink*
clorox?
*blink*
this entire article and comment section needed its own disclaimer.
*blink*
Food + bodily fluids = Death to the chef
*blink*
BLaklyon out!